Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together

Book Preface

In my clinical work as a psychotherapist over the past twenty years, I have discovered that couples have a greater likelihood of staying together, and for longer periods of time, when they improve their sexual communication skills.

Unfortunately, the therapeutic world has had little training in helping couples explore their sexuality and communicate their erotic needs. If therapists are inexperienced when it comes to talking about sex, how can they help their clients work on these issues in their relationships?

Using a communication method called the “Imago dialogue,” I have developed specific techniques that have helped men and women recharge their relationships, and bring passion back into their lives. It’s not unusual for couples to be relieved after learning how to talk about their fantasies and fears and discovering what can happen just from doing the exercises in these chapters. Anyone who hopes to be in a satisfying relationship can benefit from this work (and play!).

Learning ways to communicate about sex can help you become a better lover; you will bring more skills to your relationship. The intensity and eroticism will deepen, and the passion between you and your partner can connect the two of you for life.

Using the Imago dialogue is a new way of exploring your sexuality together that can bring you to new places. It provides you with a structure in which to explore your deepest fantasies and desires. It will give you the safety to talk to each other and finally experience being seen and heard. You will find a new way to ask for the sex you have always wanted. Perhaps there are parts of your sex life that you currently enjoy. There might also be some new things you would like to try. Maybe you have sexual desires that you have been afraid to talk about. Now you will have a language in which to express these desires.

Imago therapy was developed by Harville Hendrix, the author of the best-selling book, Getting the Love You Want.His book has helped millions of couples around the world ask for what they want and express their love for each other. Now you can use these time-tested techniques to expand your lovemaking and experience the intimacy and connection that will give you the passion you want and create a truly long-lasting partnership.

When you learn how to talk openly about sex, you will experience a greater level of intimacy and safety in your relationship. Loving feelings will then naturally increase toward your partner. A vital and healthy interest in sex along with a passionate curiosity for life are the ways to keep your relationship alive for a very long time.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

1 Long-Term Passion Starts with Early Communication

2 How to Bring Back the Sex You Want—The Next Steps

3 Adding Risk to Your Relationship

4 The Payoff of Sexual Empathy: Passionate Closeness

5 Bridging the Sexual Communication Gap

6 Moving from Sexual Curiosity to Erotic Action

7 How to be Sensually Generous

8 Use Sexual Anatomy Knowledge to Improve Your Sex Life

9 A Lifetime of Passion

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INDEX