Book Preface

This book will benefit those attending family group meetings for a loved one in addiction treatment, and will be most beneficial in centers based on the Twelve Step model. Also, people in treatment for codependency may find this book helpful.

Therapists and psychiatrists can use this book and its activities in one-on-one or group settings with clients manifesting behaviors falling into the two main codependency categories: an extreme and often uncontrollable external focus on others coupled with little or no self-awareness, and confusion about their genuine, essential powers and how to use them.

Although not conference approved, this workbook can be used by people who attend any Twelve Step group for codependents, by sponsors working with sponsees, and, with group conscience approval, as part of the Twelve Step meeting. This includes but isn’t limited to Al-Anon, CoDA (Co-Dependents Anonymous), ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), and Alateen.

The content and activities address “Double Winners”—people affected by codependency and chemical dependency. This workbook also targets people suffering from phobias; fear, panic, or eating disorders; and addictions to sex or gambling. Codependency usually affects people suffering from these problems too. It may be the first or second primary problem they address, but approaching other people’s recovery with the adage Live and let live, and not insisting that everyone plot a recovery map identical to theirs, will be helpful to all concerned.

“Lifers” attending codependency Twelve Step meetings can benefit from this book and the activities in it, as will people attending meetings as needed. Twelve Step meetings may not be part of some people’s recovery protocol, but they can still benefit from the information and activities here, and may discover this workbook helpful in their quest.

People engaged in legitimate caretaking—counselors, nurses, clergy, people caring for ill family members—who attend non-Twelve Step support groups may find this workbook an asset in taking care of themselves.

While reading through the entire workbook may be valuable initially, please follow that by returning to Lesson One, and then completing each lesson and its activities in the order presented. Do the best work possible before moving forward.

The only requirement to benefiting from this book is willingness to openly and honestly do your own work. The book’s goal is to assist you in achieving self-love and trust, living your own life, and truly loving others in a way that enhances you and them.

Whether recovering from codependency two days or thirty years, regularly reviewing this workbook and completing the activities will continually reveal fresh insights about letting go, healthy detachment, self-care, and other recovery-related issues.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction: Suggested Uses for This Workbook

Lesson One: The Stairway to Life

Lesson Two: Recognizing Your Teachers

Step One

Lesson Three: The Believers

Step Two

Lesson Four: Surrender to Destiny

Step Three

Lesson Five: You’re a Keeper

Step Four

Step Five

Lesson Six: Ready?

Step Six

Step Seven

Lesson Seven: Creating Self-Respect

Step Eight

Step Nine

Lesson Eight: Keep It Clean

Step Ten

Lesson Nine: Finding and Aligning with Your Purpose

Step Eleven

Lesson Ten: Reaching the Mountaintop

Step Twelve

Bibliography

Appendix A: The Twelve Steps of Various Organizations

Appendix B: Resources

About the Author

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